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poisonousparent

The Narcissistic Gift That Keeps On Giving: Living Your Life Small

Updated: May 1

Being the child of a narcissistic parent is a life's work; fear holds you prisoner. How can you be set free?



Have you had the experience of being raised by a parent who exhibited narcissistic tendencies? Those who may have experienced it were bestowed with a malevolent "gift" that leaves them feeling depleted: a life of limited scope.


Parents who display narcissistic traits often exude an air of entitlement and superiority, driven by their constant desire for admiration and praise. In addition, they instil in their children a sense of inadequacy, worthlessness, and fear. Throughout your upbringing, they consistently dismissed, belittled, and undermined your thoughts, emotions, and personal experiences.


You became adept at concealing yourself and shrinking to avoid provoking the ire or pain of your self-absorbed parent. There was a certain element of danger in revealing the truth. It was commonly believed that possessing ambitious aspirations or radiating confidence would enhance one's self-perception. It emphasised the importance of maintaining a limited perspective and remaining confined within the constricting confines of narcissistic parent's beliefs.


Regrettably, a significant number of individuals continue to lead limited lives due to the lingering psychological burdens from their formative years, despite having long distanced themselves from self-absorbed individuals. Our thoughts are often confined and our lives are filled with fear due to our lack of awareness regarding the multitude of possibilities available to us. We find ourselves confined within spaces we have long outgrown.


What steps can be taken to break free from the constraints that hold us back and embrace a more fulfilling and expansive existence? It may not be a simple task, but embarking on this journey can be incredibly transformative and essential.


1) It is important for us to experience sadness. It is a poignant reflection on the missed opportunities of our childhoods and the absence of parental guidance that shaped us. Experience the profound anguish of losing one's sense of self-worth at the hands of an individual consumed by their own ego.


2) It is essential that we express our anger. Expressing our emotions and frustrations can be a cathartic experience, allowing us to release the pain caused by the psychological trauma we endured. It is completely understandable to feel a deep sense of frustration and disappointment when reflecting on the actions that have led to this unfortunate situation. It may be beneficial to find a quiet and secluded space where you can freely express your emotions through cathartic means such as releasing a heartfelt scream, shedding tears, and allowing yourself to physically release any pent-up tension.


3) It is imperative that we embrace the role of parents once more. Embrace your inner child with the love, acceptance, and approval they deserve, becoming the parent you never had. The process of self-reflection and personal growth you embark upon is truly transformative, paving the way for a more fulfilling and meaningful life.


It won't happen overnight. It requires dedicated, sustained effort over time. Finally breaking free from the suffocating grip of controlling parenting and embracing a life that fulfils your deepest desires is a breathtaking experience. One should embrace the exhilarating sensation of being fully alive. Embrace the freedom that awaits you by shedding the weight of those outdated restraints.

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